


In Which Logan and Julian Fail to Communicate (Again)

by songofthe52hertzwhale



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 06:36:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21369757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofthe52hertzwhale/pseuds/songofthe52hertzwhale
Summary: They're really not good at this whole talking thing, are they?
Relationships: Julian Larson-Armstrong/John Logan Wright III
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	In Which Logan and Julian Fail to Communicate (Again)

They’re dating.

They’re actually, honest-to-god  _ dating. _

Logan Wright is dating Julian Larson. Julian Larson is Logan Wright’s  _ boyfriend _ .

Logan’s never been happier.

Something about this whole thing feels so much different than his previous relationships. Before, he’d always been on edge, always worried about disappointing, about scaring people off. But Julian knows everything about him -- the good and the bad, even the  _ truly _ awful -- and Logan’s not sure there’s anything he could do to surprise him, at this point. It’s the first time he’s dated someone he didn’t have to chase, the first time he’s felt secure in how his partner feels.

Julian  _ loves _ him. He doesn’t say it much, really, but that’s just how Julian is. He shows it, instead, and Logan can feel it in every kiss, in every cup of coffee.

Loving Julian is easy.

It isn’t much different from being friends with Julian. There’s more touching, of course, and kissing, and the absolutely mind-blowing sex. But they still laugh, still joke, still sing and play and talk. He finally understands why there are so many songs about falling in love with a best friend; it’s like having the best of both worlds, and it’s so goddamn  _ easy _ .

He says as much one day, curled up on an armchair with Julian sprawled in his lap. Julian looks up, lifts his head from Logan’s shoulder to frown.

“Easy?”

“Yeah,” Logan says, taking the opportunity to twine his fingers through Julian’s soft hair, “It’s like...I don’t have to try so hard, you know? It’s just easy.”

“I’m easy.”

“Yes.”

He leans down for a kiss, but Julian moves. Logan winds up pressing his lips to the side of his temple instead, and he frowns at the look on Julian’s face.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” Julian says, lower his head to Logan’s shoulder again, “Just a little tired.”

.

Their budding relationship had taken a while, of course. Logan had a lot of feelings to work through, and Julian had a lot of  _ everything _ to work through, and starting a new romance wasn’t exactly at the top of either of their lists. But it had been inevitable, really, and ever since that first kiss they’ve been inseparable.

They aren’t really public about it. Derek knows, of course, and some of the other Stuarts suspect. It’s hard to hide it, after all, when they spend most nights in the same bedroom.

But they don’t make a big deal about it in public. Julian has his Hollywood image to maintain, after all, and he’s really not in a good place right now to become tabloid fodder. Logan doesn’t mind keeping it quiet; after the colossal failure of his last few romantic exploits, he really doesn’t need the whole school watching and judging this.

Besides, it’s kind of fun having this little secret. Sending Julian furtive smiles across the classroom, brushing fingertips in the hall, desperately clinging to each other the moment the door closes…

Logan’s having  _ fun. _

He sees the fliers before Julian mentions it. They’re plastered all over the school, bright colors drawing attention from the stark white walls of the hallway. A dance, hosted by the Dobry girls, that every Dalton boy is invited to.

“I thought it could be fun,” Julian says lightly, dropping the neon flier on Logan’s desk, “Technically they’re inviting us so we can all socialize, but I won’t make you hang out with people you don’t know.”

“I don’t think that’s really a good idea. I mean, we can’t really keep this secret if we show up at a dance together, can we?”

Julian bites his lip. He looks down at the flier. It’s odd, that he hasn’t even considered the inherent romantic undertones of a school dance.

“Right,” he says, finally, “I didn’t think...we could do something else instead. Go to a movie, or something.”

Logan smiles, “I’ll make dinner reservations.”

.

Auditions for the next Warblers performance near, and Logan’s never been so nervous about singing in his life. He’s finally convinced the group to let him audition a Taylor Swift song -- something they’d voted against every year in what he’s convinced was an effort to spite him -- and he needs it to be  _ perfect _ . He absolutely needs this song approved,  _ has _ to have the opportunity to sing it in public.

Just because nobody else knows doesn’t mean Julian won’t realize it’s for him.

“Let me help you practice, if you’re so nervous,” Julian says, watching as Logan scrubs at the sheet music with an eraser, “I’ve always helped you before.”

“Not this time.”

Julian leans over, puts a hand on Logan’s before he can rip a hole through the paper, “Seriously. I’ve never seen you this stressed about an audition before. Let me help, okay? If you’re that worried about this arrangement, let me help. I promise I’ll be honest if it sucks or not.”

“I really need to do this one alone,” Logan says, penciling in over his own mistake, “I promise we’re still on for Shikon tonight.”

There’s a knock on the door, and Logan tenses when he looks up to see Kurt waiting.

“Hey,” he says, “You needed help?”

Julian stills beside him. He blinks at Kurt, then looks down at Logan with an incredulous expression.

“Need to do it alone, hm?”

“...he’s a Warbler,” Logan says, weakly, “I need backup to get this approved.”

He can tell Julian’s upset. Granted, he probably should’ve found someone else to help him out. But Kurt’s really the only one he’s sure won’t blow him off, and he needed someone to give him feedback on the arrangement.

“Right,” Julian says, standing up, “Well have fun, boys.”

He sweeps out of the room, nearly knocking Kurt’s shoulder as he goes. Kurt raises an eyebrow, turning to Logan.

“So. What am I helping with, exactly?”

.

He’d managed to reserve Julian a seat front and center. It’s just where Logan plans on standing for the performance, and he knows he can get away with looking right at Julian when he sings without making it obvious. He can see Julian there, when he peeks out from between the curtains.

His stomach is doing cartwheels. But he needs this to be  _ perfect _ .

Admittedly, it had been a little difficult to get the rest of the group to sign off on this. It’s clearly more of a solo number, and even after Logan’s arrangement there isn’t much for the others to do. The song had just  _ barely _ been approved, and Logan knows this is pretty much his only shot at doing something like this.

The spotlight is on him when the piece starts. A dark stage, one light, one boy singing softly to another.

_ One look, dark room _

_ Meant just for you _

_ Time moved too fast, you play it back _

_ Buttons on a coat, lighthearted joke _

_ No proof, not much, but you saw enough _

The others harmonize softly behind him. Quiet enough that they won’t overpower him, but enough to give the song a little more substance. Their voices raise a bit with the chorus, as they echo Logan’s words. A few of them step forward, dancing the simple choreography, spinning around Logan as he sings.

The lights brighten, and Logan can just barely make out Julian’s face in the audience.

_ One night, he wakes _

_ Strange look on his face _

_ Pauses, then says "You're my best friend" _

_ And you knew what it was, he is in love _

He keeps his eyes fixed in one spot, even as he moves along with the rest of the group. Everything he’s singing, every word that leaves his mouth is for Julian. It’s always been easier to communicate through music like this, and he needs Julian to  _ hear _ .

When he finishes, the audience roars with applause. But Logan’s only looking at one of them.

And he doesn’t understand why Julian looks  _ sad _ .

He stands as the rest of the audience does, pushing out of the row of seats and slipping out of the auditorium. Logan frowns, ignores the rest of his teammates and follows.

“Julian!” He shouts, stopping his boyfriend in his tracks as he makes his way out of the building, “Jules, what’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong. That was perfect. You were perfect.”

“Then how come you look so upset?”

Julian brings a hand to his face, covering his expression. He takes a breath, and his shoulders rise and fall.

“That song,” he says, his voice thick with emotion, “was it for me?”

“Who else would it be for?”

Julian doesn’t answer. But he reaches up, and Logan’s a little horrified to watch him wipe a  _ tear _ from his eye. He steps forward, circling Julian’s wrist in his fingers.

“Hey,” he says, softly, “What’s wrong?”

Julian takes a shuddering breath, “You don’t...you don’t treat me like the others.”

“...I don’t understand.”

“You said it was  _ easy _ ,” Julian says, “That you don’t have to try. But you always...you always tried so hard, with the others. You always went all out and sometimes it just feels like...like you know I’m not going anywhere. Like you can just take me for granted, because you know I’m stupid enough to stay.”

“That isn’t true.”

“You  _ hide _ it,” Julian continues, “Everyone’s always known who you love because you’re so fucking loud about it, but it’s like you don’t anyone to know you’re dating me. Like you’re ashamed of me.”

“I thought  _ you _ wanted this to be a secret!”

“You wouldn’t let me sing with you. When you were practicing. You  _ always _ want to do that shit. You always think it’s so fucking romantic, singing with the guy you like. But you wanted to sing with  _ Kurt _ instead.”

“I wanted to  _ surprise _ you!” Logan says, almost shouting, “God, Julian, I didn’t want to practice with you because it would’ve ruined it!”

“This isn’t how you  _ are _ !” Julian retorts, the tears flowing freely now, “Every time you’ve given half a shit about someone, you go all in. All the stupid fucking songs and the public mooning and everything!”

“You  _ hate _ that kind of thing.”

“I’d like it if it was  _ you _ .”

Logan squeezes his eyes shut. His first instinct is to yell, to shout, but Julian’s already  _ crying _ , and he knows that’ll just make it worse. He takes a deep breath, tightens his grip on Julian’s hand.

“I thought this is the kind of thing you’d want,” he finally says, “I thought you’d want to keep it private. I didn’t know you wanted all the other stuff.”

“Well I do.”

"And when I said easy -- I meant it as a _good_ thing. Being with you doesn't stress me out, like the others. I'm not constantly worried about if you'll start to hate me. It's comfortable. It's _good_."

"Well that isn't what you said."

“Clearly we failed at this whole communication thing, then. I wish you would’ve told me you were upset.”

Julian sniffs, “I mean, we had to know this wasn’t going to work out, right?”

“Don’t do that,” Logan says firmly, “Don’t take one fucking loss and turn it into the end of this. That’s not how this works.”

Julian says nothing, just wipes another tear from his face. Logan sighs, pulls him closer until he collapses into his chest.

“We just need to get better at talking, okay? I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to keep this secret. Especially when you brought up the dance.”

“I really wanted to go with you,” Julian says, his voice muffled, “I know it’s stupid and juvenile…”

“It’s not. I should have asked. But you should’ve told me you were upset, too. And, yeah, okay, in hindsight, I should have had someone else help me with the arrangement.”

He can feel Julian nod against his shoulder, “ _ Anyone _ else, really.”

“I meant every word of that song, though. It was all for you.”

“...even the in love part?” Julian looks up, “You don’t say it.”

“Because I didn’t want to pressure  _ you _ into saying it,” Logan sweeps Julian’s hair from his face, “I know it must be hard, after that first time.”

“I would say it if you did.”

It’s childish, but Logan can’t help but smile, “Well, then. I love you, Jules.”

Julian sniffs again, suddenly looking embarrassed by his tears. He scrubs his hands over his face, and his voice is soft, “I love you, too.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

Logan leans in, pressing soft kisses to Julian’s forehead, the tip of his nose, his mouth. Julian leans into it, and his eyes flutter shut.

“I ruined your concert, didn’t I?”

“Nah,” Logan says, winding his arms around Julian’s waist, “The last song is just a group thing. All I do is sway in the back.”

“Yours was the best.”

“Think maybe we could sing it together, later? I might’ve gotten distracted working on it and turned it into a duet, too.”

Julian smiles, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“And I know we missed the dance already. But I promise you have a date for the next one.”

“I’m sorry for being such a fucking mess.”

“I think we both are,” Logan kisses him again, softly, “You wanna get out of here?”

Julian nods, and he steps away. But Logan holds fast to his hand, and he doesn’t miss the way Julian’s cheeks turn pink as he looks at their linked fingers.

He doesn’t let go, even when other students walk by, looking at their joined hands in surprise.

It won’t be a secret much longer.


End file.
